Seriously, what the hell am I getting myself into?

And here I thought I was a SAP!

Nope. Paulie is using me as his rebound. And I totally know it. And I totally cannot let this slide, no matter how much i want to be as understanding as he claims me to be. He doesn't even know me anymore- I'm not even sure if he ever did.

Well, scratch that. At least he knows me well enough to know that I looooove compliments. And not just "You're hot" kind of stuff. I'm talking, "You're so intelligent, that's what attracted me to you. And now you just keep growing into a gorgeous woman." OH YEAH don't forget how he calls me "sweetie" every so often.

The sad thing? I'm not even accepting of those compliments anymore. Exspecially from him. We had our chance. Two months down the drain. I'm lucky though, the ex girlfriend he's bitching about had to waste almost a year with him. And now he wants to come running back to me? Bullshit.

I'm not dealing with this. But for some reason, part of me wants to. Maybe it's because he's totally heart broken and I like helping people. Exspecially people I have cared about at least at one point or another. But I'm also to the point where I should know better than this. I shouldn't waste even more of my time.

The truth? We dated for a while, and he neglected the fucking shit out of me. After a month I didn't even care anymore. That's why it wasn't hard at alllll to find another boyfriend right afterwards.

not to mention we had sex in my basement - and it was the worst. Not to get too informational...but...

When he was on top of me I felt like I was being crushed (and I'm not making a fat joke here..) I mean, it felt like it wasn't me. I knew he was just using me to get off. I was there and he completely coaxed me into doing it. We only had sex once, and I honestly never wanted to do it agian after that.

So why, after allll of that, would I even start talking to him agian? Just because it's been almost two years doesn't mean shit. The core of a person, never changes. And his core just isn't right for me.

I hate to be too general, but...I don't think his core is right for anybody. There's something in him missing.

And I am so damn curious.